You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
