i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
