I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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