My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
