Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
