2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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