I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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