No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
