Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We don't watch enough power rangers
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
