My room smells like vodka and shame
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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