Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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