Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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