Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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