I heard we made out
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
