If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize