Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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