I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
