"it" just moved
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
