He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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