Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
