I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
