This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
