everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
whose ass print is on the piano?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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