I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
