Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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