and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
