I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
