Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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