sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
