guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again