my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.