Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
