is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i believe in u and ur pee
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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