There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.