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I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
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