I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
