and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
