My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize