It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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