Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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