Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
