I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
