I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
