For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
