If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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