its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
