I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
