Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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