Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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