I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
