Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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