curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think my nap took me to another dimension
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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