He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
