wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
