i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
