1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
