I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
