Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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