What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
