the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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