Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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(415): View more from California

So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

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(330): View more from Ohio

did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(985): View more from Louisiana

any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.

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(881): View more from

I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.

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(928): View more from Arizona

They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...

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