dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.