Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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(815): View more from Illinois

just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling

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(607): View more from New York

I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

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(512): View more from Texas

well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.

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