Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.