just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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