ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
