Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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