just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
