Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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