Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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