It's Friday. Sex?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
