Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
