i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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