if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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